Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Preparing for Marriage: Speaking Words Of Life

"She does him good, and not evil ALL the days of her life."
Proverbs 31:12

I was meditating on these verses a few days ago and just asking the Lord, "What does this look like?" It means ALL day every day of her life. My life (if I want to be married). That means when single. young. working. at school. lots of friends. no friends. busy. spare time. all the time....

I wanted a deeper explanation....How do I do my future husband good? Not in sense that some lean towards when preparing to be married of "I NEED TO MAKE 452 DOILIES BEFORE I GET MARRIED TO MAKE A GOOD WIFE.!" OR, on the other side of things super strict boundaries between guys and girls where you shouldn't even look at guys. OR the idea of always looking good for him, wear lots of makeup, workout, etc... 

~ Lord,  how can I"do him good and not evil," in my heart, in a Godly way that's not too crazy or obsessive? ~

And this is what I felt He said...

Don't practice speaking ill of men. Practicing finding good things about them-- things you appreciate! As opposed to a "MEN! GAH!" attitude. 

Wow! So good! So true! 

It's so easy, too easy, to fall into an arrogant attitude against those of the opposite gender. We think, "Guys are messy, sloppy, unable to multi task, and can't find what they're looking for even if it's staring them in the face." (And Men do the same thing in thinking/speaking of women and their emotions, how long it always takes them to get ready, etc...) However, that doesn't make ME more Godly than them. It doesn't make me  better  than them. In fact, when I have an attitude like that towards anyone, I am the one in the wrong immediately. 
It does him no good and me no good (I'll only get a bitter attitude the more and more I scorn and use careless words with him.) So...How do I put this into every day practice?

1) Pray--a lot! Ask God to help you to speak well of others. 
2) Try to find good things about others that you can encourage them.
3) When others are speaking ill/criticizing/scorning, don't join in. 
4) Defend others when they are not being spoken well of. 

 I'm pretty sure any guy would rather come home to store bought cookies and a wife who doesn't scorn him/speaks well of and to him, than to a home with all the home goods and doilies a heart could want and a wife full of scorn and unpleasant words. 

Anyways, just wanted to share this thoughts with you...I hope they encourage you and challenge you like they did me. And, even if you never get married, there will always be people around. You can choose to speak well or to speak ill. 

(Photo design by Anna Faith)