I am finally going to write about how the Lord brought me home. It wasn't easy. In fact, it was a very hard and painful situation because God had to show me how HIS will was different and better than my own.
To begin this story, I need to give a little background, so you can have some better understanding of this situation. The past two years, I have been working with a ministry based out of Prince Edward Island (PEI), Canada. A family, several years ago, gave up all to follow the Lord whole-heartedly. In the process, they began a music ministry where they present the Gospel through music, and through preaching, at concerts. They travel all across Canada and the US, playing concerts, leading Bible studies, and doing evangelism as well. It is SO neat. God has given them a very creative outlet to preach the Good news. A few years ago, they came and stayed with us, playing concerts in our area. They invited me to join them for a few weeks on PEI, and then to come be part of their Unashamed Ministries Bible Institute (UMBI). God has let UMBI remain small so that we can feel like family, hold each other accountable, and be more transparent when dealing with issues and sin. I grew so much during this time-- really developing an understanding of God, the Bible, the importance of Evangelism and prayer, and many other things. Those years will always be a treasure in my heart.
This past Fall was my fourth and last semester at UMBI. Usually, during this time before graduation, the students are invited to join as Staff to lead ministry outreaches, Bible Studies, teach classes, pray, administrative duties, and many other things. I was asked to join the ministry. At the time, I couldn't see any reason why I shouldn't. There seemed to be no opportunities for me back at my home town, and to be honest, I didn't want to come home...AT ALL.
When I came home for Christmas in December, God had already been on the move in my family, I just didn't know it yet. A few days after I arrived home, my mom sat down with me to talk about a few things. Through scriptures, and by confirmation from dad, the Lord had showed her that our family needed serious healing and reconciliation. [My dad had been a pastor for 17 years, and at the end, we had all been so hurt that we never fully recovered from it all.] In order to reconcile, that meant I needed to be home. It was a hard hit for me. "Lord, You want to do WHAT?" "Can't you see I'm working for YOU, Lord, and you want me to come home!?"
As you can see, I was perfectly incredulous. The questions ran through my head, over and over again. I cried, I got angry, and I didn't want to talk to anyone about it. I just wanted to KNOW it was God's will for me to be home-- for HIM to speak to me about it. That time of wrestling was probably some of the most intense times of fighting, pleading, and praying I've ever experienced.
Finally, we decided to get a dear lady we know to pray with me. Mom and I drove to her house early one morning, and we ended up staying for almost 3 hours. During that time she talked with me, prayed with me, and helped mom and I to have some reconciliation. It was amazing. God gave me PEACE. The peace that passes ALL understanding. The peace that helped me to say, "Lord, I don't understand, but Your ways are better than my own. I will obey what you have said. I will stay. I will love my family. Forgive me for fighting against You." At that moment, I felt free and filled with joy. The joy that comes after a storm, after a time of wrestling, and after someone has surrendered to the Lord.
So, you may have questions like "What are you doing now?" or "What has God been doing in your family?" God is good, all the time. Our family is the closest it has been in a long time. We are doing the Bible study "Experiencing God" together every Sunday afternoon. After dinner, our dad reads a devotional to us, which has lead to good conversations. We are communicating better, and are able to talk through issues we are dealing with. IT'S AWESOME.
As for me, I am:Being discipled by a lady from our church. (it's such a blessing, as it also means I get time with her darling kiddos!)
- Participating in a Ladies Bible study from church on Wednesday nights. (Another blessing!)
- Teaching my youngest sister Spanish. :)
- Helping with cooking and cleaning around the house.
- "Polite traditions"-- we meet with a friend each week to work on crafts, sewing, and other things.
- Doing babysitting when the opportunity arises.
- Each week I meet up with different friends for dinner or coffee. (It's a great time of encouraging each other!)
- Trying to walk each day with God--asking Him to show me who to talk to, write to, or call so that I can encourage/bless them.
- Working every day to try to love my family (in their particular love languages.)
I might not have a REAL job, but, let me tell you, I am SO busy. From the time I wake up to the time I go to bed, I am always doing something. To the world, it may not make sense, but I know, this is where God wants me.
{You might be wondering about the title "SAHD." That stands for "Stay At Home Daughter." I learned that term from another girl's blog, you should check it out. www.stayathomedaughter.com .She has been a real encouragement to me!}
