Saturday, December 29, 2012

"Yet will I praise Him"

In all honesty, I don't want this post to turn into a rant or anything of the sort. It's just time for an honest, vulnerable moment on my part.

This Fall, it has been incredibly difficult to stand and praise the Lord. 

He is so good, yet my flesh rises up and wants to control my own life. When trials come, I want to draw closer to Him, not further. These past few months have been truly trying...for the whole family.

In general, I never get sick. ever. Starting at the beginning of August, I had two colds during that month, then a cold in September that turned in pneumonia through most of October. After that, while trying to get back into running after a few weeks off, I twisted my right ankle. A week later, my left ankle over compensated. So I wasn't able to run for another two weeks. Ha! After that, a sinus infection mid-november with some allergies. (I went on a two week trip up to Connecticut the beginning of December). When I got back, I was sick for several days. It's been crazy.

I couldn't do evangelism.
I couldn't meet with the girl I wanted to disciple.
I could hardly pay attention at any Bible study.
All the part-time job opportunities I prayed about, every single door closed.

**It was rather discouraging. **

In the midst of all of this, Mom got a cold that turned into bronchitis; Aimee had a horrible sinus infection, allergies, with cold symptoms (most of the Fall); Charlotte got pneumonia and a stomach bug; Dad had some sinus issues; and Anna has finally recovered from her year of stomach problems and is now healing from a surgery/skin graft due to a third degree burn she got 3 weeks ago. (Poor darling!)

There were days it was hard to pray--hard to read the Bible--hard to think of anything but myself.  Over and over again I would repeat, "This I know that God is for me" and "The Lord does not forsake those who seek Him."

Finally, a few weeks ago, God gave me a breakthrough. I still got sick. The situation around me hadn't changed at all, just my perspective. In many ways, I feel like I failed a test that was put before me. To "Bless the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips."

God doesn't change. 
I do. 
He is always good. 
He is the only good thing in me. 

One of my goals for 2013 is to truly praise the Lord (loudly if I need to) at all times. Especially when I am grumpy and things aren't going the way that I (in my fleshly, "I know better than you" attitude!).

The name of this blog is "Spring of Joy" for a reason. Jesus is the fountain of life and joy. There is nothing else besides Him. That does not mean that I am always happy--just trying to truly live knowing that I am redeemed because of His sacrifice. 

What could give me more reason to rejoice?

1 comment:

  1. I like this! Even if you are not happy in a situation, you can have joy in that fact that Jesus is your Savior! :)


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